busy time

I’ve not been on much. Summer is hot. not the good, sexy kind of hot you want to drown in. But more like the hot that suffocates you and requires you spend more time in the pool or in the a/c than any where else. yucky hot.
Anyways…………
last weekend the husband and i went to a strip club. Just for fun. We heard some other swingers would be there. um, they were. and they were gross. and old. ew.
it’s sad when you go to a swinger party and the strippers are more entertaining, lmao!
eso husband and i sat up front and gave our money to the pretty *cough* ladies *cough*.
one girl in particular was awesome, good dancer, hot body, smelled like the prerequisite cotton candy and was aggressive. she grabbed my throat when she danced for me. hot!!
so last weekend:
1-strippers
0-swingers

How we got into this.

My husband and i had talked about bringing another women into our bedroom since before we married. I have always loved sex with women. Always. So does he, lol. So why not share it together…
We looked around at our friends…who would do it? who would we want? who would freak out afterwards, lol?
No one. Not one of our friends seemed to be to be up to our sexual standards. We kicked the thought around for years. In that time we watched a lot of porn, played with toys and went to many strip clubs. But all of that was fun but not enough….
So finally we joined a site. We decided we would find an anonymous woman to play with and see how we handled it.
Lol. The Unicorn. The mystical goddess that hardly exists…
For us, we never found one.
What we found instead was lots of “dates” with hot couples. We took our time, checking out lots of profiles and then rechecking out the hot profiles again and again, lol.
Finally we found the right couple. We got everything ready and finally…finally…finally we had a long night of full swap sex. It was awesome. It started out girl-girl play that lead into full 4-some orgy on our poor tiny queen size bed.
After the couple left we both looked at each other and said “That was awesome.” We talked about it again, fucked again then talked about it again. OMG. it is the right choice for us. We have never been jealous or hateful towards one another. We always talk about our excursions and fuck again talking about them.
Swinging is awesome for us. We love it.

The dangers of swinging….

Of course with anything we do like this there are dangers.

No i’m not talking about std’s. because of course there are those.
No i’m not talking about divorce, because yes that is always a factor too.

I’m talking about having such great, ground moving sex that you literally break your body the next day.
This morning i fell out of bed because my back hurt so bad. I guess when a little five foot four inches 117 pound girl gets thrown around the bed and tied down with restraints and used in every possible position by 2 men and an aggressive women could do some minor damage to me, lmao!
Ouch, my back is killing me.
But oh it was so worth the pain.

What Not to Do…..

Okay, guys, I thought I would give ya’ll a few tips for hooking a girl on one of those hook up sites. No wait. This is for hooking a quality girl. A random dumb slut may totally fall for this stuff. But if you want someone with a little more substance, keep reading. If not, you can use this as an example of emails you should send chicks to who are really that dumb. These are a few emails I have received from a hook up site.

my name j****** and i just wanted to say you are beutiful as angel sent from heavens, and the most beutifulest women in the world, i was just wondering if we can talk sometime and see if anything can happen between us. I do hope to hear from you soon. If you are interested please message me back and let me know what you are thinking, even if you are not interested, Please message me back and let me know wat you are thinking. Thank you angel

Well, you’re welcome, but this “most beutifulest women in the world” doesn’t fall for bullshit this thick.

…call me…I am like you…just with a Weiner…111-222-3344…

I’ve always wanted to know what I would be like with a weiner.  If I wanted to fuck myself, I would grab my own vibrating weiner from the bedside drawer and have at it.
Oh, and if you really expect a phone call, leave a name.  I am not going to call and say, “Hi, uh, is McNasty4U there?”

Hello

Hows ur day going met any fun ppl. My names f**** whats urs i surely would love to get to know u see what makes u the person u r today what makes u laughan smile. I wont to know the person inside u like that ur a strong woman who can mannage a buisness an a home with a child if there was a rateing on hear i would rate u a 10 for being who u r hope to hear from u

Okay, so good job.  He paid a few compliments, didn’t say, ‘let’s fuck, call me’, and even played the ‘you seem like a good person even though I really only care about your body’ card.  Not bad.  But DAMN, dude, use some punctuation!!  This makes me just want to go over it with a red pen and send back the corrected version.  When I am looking for a guy, even if I have little intention of having a long drawn out conversation, I still dont want to be in the compnay of a dumbass.  Sorry, there are few things that are more of a turn off – to me anyway.  Atleast try a little harder to push the spell check button and attempt a question mark once in a while.
Oh, and I am on a hook up site.  I am not looking for bullshit about how wonderful of a person  I am and how you want to get to know me so personally.  You want some muff.  Don’t lie.

And please, please PLEASE – if you are going to send a picture of your weiner and write “Like what you see? Let’s fuck”  you should really make sure the pics of your weiner are actually flattering.  You are basing my entire opinion on whether I want to meet you on an out of focus, shitty lighting cell phone pic of your weiner. You better have something damn good looking to back up your statement.

So those are a few I have received recently that I obviously skipped right over.  Ready for some tips?  Ok, let’s face it, women (cute women) on hook up sites get probably 10-15 emails a day.  So we have a large menu to choose from.  If you really want to meet this chick, you need to make sure you have read her profile, and comment about it.  Nothing is sexier than a guy who took the extra 45 seconds to read your profile and fake interest.  Sending a pic is great. sending a terrible rendition of “A Self Portrait of my Penis” is not the best idea.  Sending a weiner pic is good, but not necessary.  It is nice to know what to expect before taking the time to meet, fake convo, and then be disappointed…  lol.
A face pic is ideal – even better if maybe you have a body pic, too.  We aren’t focused on the weiner.  We do know that size is not everything, but we also know that we prefer a particular body style, and that is what we are looking for.
Be witty and intelligent.  Maybe it’s just me, but  a little humor, wit, and showing that you can use words with three or more syllables is a complete turn on.  That will get my attention more than any rock bodied, model type photo.
And please, do not lay on the bullshit so thick.  Telling a chick she is the most beautiful person in the world is going to get an eyeroll, not drop her panties. Tell her she’s hot, tell her you are completely into her body type or personality. Make her feel a little wanted and special, but do not be cheesy.

Hope maybe this will help a few of you get laid easier, and hopefuly it provided some entertainment as well.  Happy fucking!  ~The Unicorn

Swinging on the weekend

So because we have kids we have to make swinging happen…it doesn’t ever just happen. It is a planned event!
This weekend we are driving to a couples house to “play”. We have met them before. They were recommended to us by friends. Then we actively pursued them on the site.
That’s pretty much how you get around in the LS community!!! People meet you, love you then introduce you to their friends so eventually you can all come together for a big orgy!!! Main goal is usually big orgy!! When i meet a new couple i think 1st- are they hot? 2nd- Will the girl like girls? 3rd- Are they going to be good in the big orgy?
LOL!!!
So anyways, i digress… We have plans to meet this couple for the 2nd time. The first time was at our house and this time at theirs. It is an ordeal. We have to find an overnight sitter for a reasonable fee. Then drop the kids off right before bed time. Then hopefully, go “play”, have fun and enjoy the night. Then drive home at a decent enough hour to be able to pick the kids up bright and early the next day and not be zombie-fied.
This is the plan for this weekend.
I hope it goes well.
I’m excited about playing. this couple is definitely good for the big orgy theory. But that is planned for another night!
But…but…but…my back is slightly in pain and i really hope my period isn’t coming. Ugh.
More will be revealed!!

 

 

ETA: Last night was a great success. Again and again and again and again. Sex is amazing!

What’s a unicorn?

So I guess I should make a post about the name of this blog.  You may be asking yourself why you care about the life of a made up creature that runs around with a horn on their forehead.  Well, you shouldn’t.  =)  Basically, My partner in crime and co-blogger, Pickles Revenge, introduced me to this term not too long ago. 

I was sharing with her my first experience with a couple, and how I really enjoyed it and would like to pursue this lifestyle.  That’s when she called me a Unicorn.  Basically, in the swinger lifestyle, finding a young, single, sexy female who wants to play with another couple is so rare, when you find one, it’s like spotting a Unicorn!  So now you get it!  Correct me if I am wrong, Pickles =)

And no, I do not run around with a strap on around my head.   not that kind of unicorn….

Sex with a strap-on

Once you are comfortable in the lifestyle someone will introduce the golden ticket of swinging for women. Strap-ons!!!! They are like penises but much more fun. They come in all colors, sizes. They can be strapped around you waist or held in the vagina… Either way they are tons of fun!!!!
Some tidbits about using a strap-on:
* Always, always, always cover with a condom.
* Clean regularly after every use.
* Open the boxes in the store and try them on over your clothes. If you are in a store where this is not ok, then LEAVE! Go to a better store.
* Last pointer…Don’t do your leg exercises the night before you “play” with one.
Bad strap-on scenario…
2 girls getting naked, kissing and rubbing on each other. One girl says to the other ” hey let’s use the strap-on you’ve got and i’ve heard to much about!!” 2nd girl, “ok, sexy . let me go get it.” The 2nd girls strides so confidently and sexily to her room, grabs the pink phallus and begins to put it on. The men of course are dying of lust by this time too. The 2nd girl lays the first down on the bed and proceeds to lube her up with her fingers. Hot right?!?!!?!?!? The she slips on the condom and starts to go at it with the strap-on. About 2 minutes int o her quads are dying. Dying. Burning. The pain is killing her, she is almost weak in the knees, but not in a good way!!! LOL, point is- Don’t do legs at the gym the of or before you “play” with a strap-on. It’s a sad time to have admit that your legs hurt to bad to finish fucking his wife with the hot pink love stick!!! Very sad!
* Always have a good time. And if you want to lighten up a serious mood,proceed to chase the guy around while you have the little pink dildo on. Makes for great fun!!
Happy sexy times!!

Here we are!

So you found us.  Who are we, you may ask.  Well, we are two hot and sexy women who are about to share our experiences, opinions, and maybe even some jokes about all those fun adult ‘hook up’ websites.  We are one unicorn, and one married swinger. 

We want to tell you what it’s like to be on those fun hook up sites.  The emails we have gotten, the people we have met… hell, even some of the toys we have used.

We will provide you with tips, tricks, advice, and hopefully a lot of laughs along the way.  This is all real, completely factual information we share.  Hell, you can’t make this shit up!

So go ahead and subscribe to our blog.  We are working on getting it up and running, so subscribing will allow us to email you when we add new stuff!  And who doesn’t want two hot girls emailing them, anyway??